


I Still Haven’t Been Able to Fix Our Misunderstanding (I Need Your Forgiveness)

by npse



Category: Korean Drama, 花郞 | 화랑 | Hwarang (TV)
Genre: Comeplay, First Time Blow Jobs, Frottage, M/M, Neck Kissing, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Teasing, real lowkey comeplay tbh but i figured i should tag it just in case, who am i kidding y'all this is smutty again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:25:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/npse/pseuds/npse
Summary: If I can wash away my sins, I will get on my knees right now.Even if you choke me, even if you destroy my body - I swear to the sky, I raise my hand.





	I Still Haven’t Been Able to Fix Our Misunderstanding (I Need Your Forgiveness)

**Author's Note:**

> Wowowow, here we go! I alluded to this a little while ago when I posted my Suryu fic and now it's here! This was a real labour of love to get this fic into this shape but I wanted to get something substantial out to you SunDwi shippers who don't have a lot of works in your fandom yet (I've got plans, though, don't worry). 
> 
> My main ideas for this fic centered around the smut itself so I had to work around that to try and develop a semblance of plot and a lead up/conclusion that would make sense. I also struggled to try and decide what kind of vibe I wanted these two to have - I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be flirty or tentative, if it was going to be awkward and shy or hot and heavy and too often I felt like I was slipping into Suryu territory with regards to their dynamic so I'm sorry if that feeling still remains. I also realised about halfway through that I'd basically copied one of Sun Woo's moments with Ah Ro and just put Ji Dwi in her place instead, which I didn't want to do, so I had to rewrite certain parts a few times until it felt original and organic. But I worked on it a lot, for over a month and often instead of working on assignments oops, and now I think I'm at a point that I'm happy with it. Please let me know what you think!!! I'd love to keep writing for these two! Also I have some questions for you guys in the end notes so please answer them if you feel like doing so! :)
> 
> I refer to Sun Woo and Ji Dwi as such because that is how we knew them for the majority of the show - their other names were present, yes, but these were what was commonly used and therefore what I will use in any fics I write for them. 
> 
> Title from Soldier by Taemin. Unbeta'd - let me know if you spot any mistakes/awkward phrases! Posting at 2-30am so there very well may be some errors.

Ji Dwi couldn’t sleep. It was nothing out of the ordinary, his insomnia striking daily now that he’d stopped seeking out Ah Ro, but it was frustrating nonetheless. He’d tried to wait it out, laying in his bed and waiting for sleep to wash over him, but all that eventuated was lonely frustrations. Eventually he started taking to wandering the compound, skilfully avoiding the guards whose routines were more predictable than they’d like to admit.

His mind wandered freely with him whenever he took his midnight strolls. His day thoughts were always of his duty to his people, how to improve himself to be worthy of his title. His night thoughts were a little more personal - how to maintain the relationships he’d developed since joining Hwarang despite having repeatedly lied to them, what to do about his favourite person wanting him dead. The weight on his shoulders was infinitely heavy and it exhausted him to no end but there was nothing to be done about it. He couldn’t shirk his responsibility and he couldn’t stop himself from loving and seeking love from others. He’d tried that before and it just didn’t work. This was who he was, as lacking as it may be, and he needed to work with it rather than against it.

He’d tried to stop himself from seeking love when he lived in the West. He’d learned so much about himself then and what he found had scared him. He’d denied who he was and suffered greatly as a result. Ah Ro had told him once that she thought the reason he suffered from insomnia was because he had too many thoughts that he hadn’t given life to yet, that his brain never knew when to be quiet because it had so much to say. He supposed there was some truth in it. There was a lot in Ji Dwi’s brain that he’d never dared to speak freely. He’d tried, of course, and recently too, but it seemed even if he wanted to say the things on his mind, nobody was prepared to listen.

Without knowing it, Ji Dwi had made his way to the entrance of the dining hall where he, Sun Woo and Ah Ro used to have lessons. He’d always enjoyed his time there with them, even though he didn’t need the help and he knew they thought of him as an intruder. He just couldn’t help himself. His petty side had come out in those instances, his determination to keep them apart winning out over his gentle reminders to protect himself. It wasn’t his fault. Ji Dwi just had so much love to give and was used to having things to himself. He wasn’t used to having to share.

Smiling at the memory, he made his way into the building for no other reason than to have something to do. Not long after he’d entered did he spot the dull glow of lights from inside the kitchen, becoming brighter as Ji Dwi moved closer. It was a sight all-too-familiar to him, the same as every other time he’d come for lessons, and a part of him seized up at the thought that maybe Sun Woo and Ah Ro were back there together. Without him.

If he were a better man, he probably would have turned and left without looking at the scene. But wasn’t that just the problem? Ji Dwi wasn’t a better man, he was still young in so many ways, and his heart longed to see what would undoubtedly pain him. He was so used to pain and suffering at the hands of people he cared about, maybe it would do him some good to add more people to the list. Maybe if he saw something he didn’t want to see, he’d stop feeling what he knew he shouldn’t feel.

As he rounded on the kitchen, he steeled himself for what he might see when he peeked into the room. He told himself that whatever it was would hurt, yes, but would ultimately be for the best. He couldn’t continue letting his feelings confuse and distract him. Inching toward the door, he strained his ears but heard nothing. He carefully opened the door no wider than he could see through, letting his eyes slowly adjust to the scene beyond.

There, at the long wooden table they’d all sat around before, was Sun Woo. He looked warm, bathed in the orange light of the nearby torches, and even though his head was tilted down to the table, Ji Dwi caught sight of a tiny line between his eyebrows that spoke of concentration. His stomach tightened at the sight. Ji Dwi knew the look, knew the situation, but it still felt unfamiliar. Everything was seemingly the same – there was still paper and brushes and ink all around, still soft light and a furrowed brow and splotches all over his bed clothes, but it was missing a fundamental piece. It only took another moment for him to realise why.

Ah Ro wasn’t there.

Ji Dwi wondered why Sun Woo would be studying anymore, especially since their writing tasks were finished with, let alone all by himself. Intrigued, he watched on. Sun Woo’s tongue poked out between his lips as he carefully dragged his brush down and over the paper, crafting a character with all the focus Ji Dwi would put into learning a new defensive manoeuvre. Ji Dwi felt oddly proud watching Sun Woo try so hard, smiling softly to himself as Sun Woo pulled back to examine his work. His smile fell when Sun Woo let out a noise of frustration, slashing his brush over the paper and smearing ink all over his work. Ji Dwi watched on hopefully as Sun Woo sighed, straightened his shoulders and moved onto a fresh patch of paper, starting over. It didn’t take long for his hands to falter in their movements and for him to let out another groan, scribbling over his work again before dropping his brush to the table so he could scrunch the paper into a messy ball between his strong hands and send it sailing in the direction of the doorway. Ji Dwi followed its trajectory, saw it land among the scattered remains of what were undoubtedly Sun Woo’s previous attempts before catching sight of Sun Woo’s forlorn expression. He looked as if the paper had wronged him in some way, as if they were to blame for the fact he was robbed of his education just because he grew up poor.

Ji Dwi decided to take advantage of the situation, pushing open the door and stepping into the light until he could bend and pick up a ball of paper.

“Having fun without me?” he asked, catching Sun Woo’s eyes when he looked toward him.

“What are you doing here?” Sun Woo’s voice was stilted, defensive, as if he’d been caught doing something wrong.

Ji Dwi ignored him, unfurling the paper to look at Sun Woo’s work. Sun Woo remained where he was, averting his gaze when Ji Dwi peered over the top of the paper at him.

“You did this?” he asked, even though it was clear that he had. “Where’s Ah Ro?”

Sun Woo fidgeted in his seat. “Not here.”

“Why not?”

“I wanted to see if I could do it myself.”

Ji Dwi smiled, despite himself. “How is that working out?”

Sun Woo grunted, looking away again, and Ji Dwi turned his attention back to the paper in his hands.

“It’s not as bad as you might think,” he said. “You’re pretty close on most of these.”

Sun Woo snorted, “You think you know more than me? You were here beside me learning, too, not too long ago.”

Ji Dwi pondered it for a moment, eyes glinting with mischief as he carefully said, “Let’s just say I’ve been doing some private study of my own.”

Sun Woo gave him that same considering look he always got, like he was sizing him up, trying to see beneath his words. Ji Dwi just smiled as he scrunched the paper into a ball again, lobbing it back over his shoulder as he meandered closer to the table.

“You should continue to learn to write,” Ji Dwi said. “I will help, if you don’t want Ah Ro to know.”

Sun Woo looked doubtful at best. “What makes you think you have the knowledge to be able to teach me when even Ah Ro couldn’t succeed?”

Ji Dwi’s lips curved into a sly grin. “Living in the West taught me many things, Sun Woo-yah. Wait and see.”

Sun Woo still didn’t look convinced but he didn’t argue as Ji Dwi rounded the table and took a seat beside him on the bench. Ji Dwi brought out a clean sheet of paper, setting it out between them. He held out an expectant hand to Sun Woo, who stared back blankly at him. When neither of them moved, Ji Dwi huffed and reached in front of Sun Woo to grab the brush he’d thrown down earlier, dipping it back into ink before setting it to the paper.

He wrote with an ease that betrayed the level of experience he pretended to have, his hand skilfully moving across the page and painting the characters with a precision not even Ah Ro had. When he was finished, he set the brush aside and looked to Sun Woo.

“What does it say?” he asked, eyes scanning over the paper.

“Don’t you trust me?” JI Dwi lips tilted upwards at the corners.

Sun Woo flicked his gaze to him, giving him a doubting look. “No,” he said simply before turning his attention back to the paper.

Ji Dwi couldn’t help the bitter smirk that crossed his features, somehow so endeared by Sun Woo’s brutal honesty even though it still hurt to be so blatantly disliked even after spending so much time with him.

“It says ‘ _the thought of you brings light to my darkest times_ ’,” Ji Dwi said quietly, skin prickling at the subtle honesty as he continued to watch Sun Woo, whose eyes widened as they found his again.

With the soft light in the room casting shadows over his face, Sun Woo was even more interesting to look at. His strong brows rose slightly, his lips parted as if he’s about to speak, but no words came out. Ji Dwi can’t help the way his insides bubble at the sight. 

“What?” he asked when Sun Woo still hadn’t said anything. The vibe of the room was nothing Ji Dwi had ever experienced before. He didn’t want to look away, didn’t know if he could even if he wanted to, bound to Sun Woo in that moment by the soft lights in the room and the romantic sentiment in the air. Sun Woo must have noticed the shift in mood too because he blinked and shook his head before averting his gaze again.

“Nothing.”

Ji Dwi breathed out a tiny laugh. “It’s okay,” he said, smug as anything, “you’re falling for my charms, aren’t you? You can admit it.”

He thought he saw a hint of red on Sun Woo’s cheeks as he made a dismissive noise but it was hard to tell in the warm light, especially when Sun Woo looked away to pick his brush back up.

“You wish,” Sun Woo muttered, shoving Ji Dwi’s paper aside so he could start to copy its contents onto a fresh sheet. “You’ve been spending too much time with Yeowool.”

“Maybe,” Ji Dwi mused, ignoring the way his cheeks warmed instantly at the careful wording. Too often did he let his emotions speak before his brain had a chance to stop him and it was riskier with Sun Woo than anyone else. The man had no reason to take kindly to Ji Dwi’s advances, he knew that, knew he had to be careful because of it, and yet he still pushed his luck. He was nothing if not self-sabotaging.

Ji Dwi reached across Sun Woo to grab the other brush and some more paper to write on for himself, accidentally brushing against him in the process. He couldn’t help but smile when Sun Woo fumbled and messed up the end of the character he was drawing.

“Aish,” Sun Woo winced, frowning at the words. “This is somehow both cheesy and burdensome. Who would want a confession like this?”

Ji Dwi kicked at him under the table, causing Sun Woo to mess up again and flick his head up to glare at him.

“Love is a burden,” Ji Dwi explained gruffly, defensive over the words and the hidden weight they held for him. “For all its good, it comes with a lot of pain. But we bear it anyway because that’s what true love is. Or don’t you remember how it feels?”

Sun Woo’s eyes narrowed, flickering with sparks of anger and loss. Ji Dwi knew that Sun Woo wanted to say something, to bite at the childish bait he’d left, but he didn’t. A silence stretched out between them instead until Sun Woo returned to copying the characters and Ji Dwi followed suit.

Ji Dwi couldn’t help but reflect in the silence that followed. His life had been blessed in so many ways but it was severely lacking in the only aspect he had ever cared about – love. His father was gone, his mother had sent him away and he barely knew his sister. Yes, he had Pa Oh, and he was infinitely grateful for the care he received from him, but outside of him, all the relationships Ji Dwi had were full of pain. He yearned for love and acceptance for who he was, without a crown and without expectation, and it made him fall hard for people who treated him as if he was a normal person, who held him accountable and told him he was wrong. More than that, he desired people who were strong and brave and capable, all the things he wished he could be. He’d fallen for some more than most. As he chanced a glance at Sun Woo, whose features were dipped in concentration again, he couldn’t deny that he’d found yet another fixation.

Sun Woo’s strong features were soft in the light of the room and Ji Dwi itched to touch them, trace the slope of his nose and the curves of his lips. He’d thought at first that he was attracted to Ah Ro, and he had been. She was beautiful and smart and caring and feisty beyond belief. She was something to marvel at. On some levels, of course he still yearned for her. But getting to know Sun Woo had been something else. Sun Woo was passionate and driven, determined and outspoken. He had strong morals and a desire to do what was right. He had caught Ji Dwi’s eye despite their complicated past and each moment they spent together, he learned more about who Sun Woo was and who Ji Dwi himself wanted to be. Their friendship, if you could call it that, had developed naturally – Ji Dwi’s first friend who wasn’t hired staff – and it made Ji Dwi’s insides feel airy to think that someone had actually chosen him. He’d never been someone’s choice before. Of course he had fallen for Sun Woo. How could he not?

Sun Woo wasn’t soft. He was stubborn and he was rough around the edges. He was uneducated and suspicious of Ji Dwi. But even so, they were still friends, in their own way. They played together even though Ji Dwi was responsible for the death of Sun Woo’s friend, even though Sun Woo suspected it but had no proof, even though their destiny was likely ill fated. Their future was uncertain but at least in that moment they were together. At least in that moment they could play.

Sun Woo’s tongue poked out at the corner of his lips as he struggled to craft a character and Ji Dwi couldn’t help himself from smiling. Sun Woo messed it up and grunted, swiping angrily over it with the brush before starting anew right next to it. It was all so endearing, the way he tried so hard, forced himself to be careful so he could get it right. Ji Dwi watched the stilted movements of the brush, saw the way Sun Woo took care to get it perfect, and just before he finished it correctly, Ji Dwi nudged Sun Woo’s thigh with his own, jolting him into ruining the character.

Sun Woo made a disgruntled noise, shooting him a glare.

“You want to die?” Sun Woo threatened, kicking at Ji Dwi under the table as a smile ghosted around the corners of his lips.

“It was an accident,” Ji Dwi lied as he kicked back just for the sake of it, smirking triumphantly at Sun Woo.

“Aish,” Sun Woo huffed, nudging his foot petulantly back against Ji Dwi’s and going back to his writing. Ji Dwi followed his lead, making a show of writing in easy strokes until Sun Woo started pushing at him under the table again. Ji Dwi gave it back as hard as he got it, though, trying and eventually failing to maintain his steady writing as their feet nudged and kicked at each other under the table.

Ji Dwi couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face, nor the giggle that soon followed, as their playful game devolved into them both dropping their brushes as they pushed their feet against each other with increasing frequency in a desperate attempt to win a battle that had no end. Sun Woo chuckled and hooked his foot around Ji Dwi’s ankle, escalating the game further and making giddiness bloom in Ji Dwi’s chest at the feeling, even as Sun Woo tried to throw him off balance with the manoeuver. It was fun and playful and there was a soft smile on Ji Dwi’s lips that wouldn’t leave despite how often he told himself to get a grip.

Sun Woo started pushing at Ji Dwi’s shoulders, trying to reach the tipping point he’d been hoping for by catching his ankle earlier, but Ji Dwi was too smart.

“You think it’s going to be that easy to defeat me?” he taunted, slinging his arm around Sun Woo’s neck and pulling him towards him in a playful chokehold.

Sun Woo struggled in his grip, grunting as his hands scrambled against Ji Dwi’s forearm as he tried to steady him enough to be able to flick at his forehead in punishment. It didn’t take long for Sun Woo to get his bearings, though, turning his defence to offence almost immediately. He shoved his shoulder into Ji Dwi’s ribs and, with their feet still tangled together under the table, the movement sent Ji Dwi flailing to stop himself from falling, one hand outstretched behind him on the bench seat to prop himself up. Sun Woo’s grin was cocky at having freed himself, even chuckling in triumph at the picture before him until Ji Dwi reached out with his free hand and smacked at Sun Woo’s head. Sun Woo quickly caught his wrist afterwards and laughed outright at Ji Dwi’s misfortune.

“No,” he answered eventually, voice as smug as his grin. He leaned over Ji Dwi, taunting, waving his free hand tauntingly over his face, threatening to flick him at any moment now that he was seemingly defenceless. “I _knew_ it was going to be that easy to defeat you.”

Ji Dwi knew Sun Woo thought he had it all figured out – with one hand caught by Sun Woo and the other still holding him upright – but Ji Dwi had always thought outside of the box. He smirked in the face of Sun Woo’s imminent attack and watched as a flicker of uncertainty sparked through his features.

Ji Dwi brought his leg up from under the table, wedging it between them to brace it against Sun Woo’s chest, trying to push him away from where he’s leering over him. His eyes were playful as he drank in Sun Woo’s surprise at the new tactic, but it didn’t last long. Sun Woo leaned in and pushed back against Ji Dwi’s knee like it was a battle he could actually win. They laughed as they struggled against each other, playing around, and Ji Dwi was momentarily stunned by the beautiful crinkles at the corners of Sun Woo’s eyes as he smiled. Before Ji Dwi knew what was happening, Sun Woo had taken advantage of his momentary lapse in concentration to push his knee aside with his free hand, Ji Dwi’s leg falling to the opposite side of the bench seat and, without something to push against, Sun Woo tumbled forward into the gap of Ji Dwi’s spread legs, their chests colliding, their hips knocking. Ji Dwi let out a gasp of surprise as the weight of Sun Woo knocked his arm out from under him, his back hitting the bench seat they’d been sitting on as Sun Woo’s hands flew out instinctively to brace against the seat on either side of Ji Dwi’s head, his hair falling down over his shoulders as he leaned over him. The two of them were panting, staring at each other, suddenly caught in a situation neither of them had anticipated.

Ji Dwi swallowed, blinking up at Sun Woo. His heart felt like it was beating faster than it had in all his years, body like a live wire at having Sun Woo so close to him, so much on top of him. Sun Woo looked equally frazzled, though Ji Dwi was sure it was for a completely different reason.

Then, without warning, Sun Woo’s lips quirked up in one corner. “I win,” he whispered, leaning forward a little with the words.

It was tantalising, the words, the smirk, the weight of his body along his, but it wasn’t real. Ji Dwi had to remind himself that it wasn’t the way he wanted it to be. But Sun Woo was so close, looking so smug, eyes bright with excitement and confidence.

“You wish,” Ji Dwi grunted, only just managing to stop himself from leaning up and claiming Sun Woo’s lips by pushing at his shoulders instead, trying to shove him off. When that didn’t work, he started batting at Sun Woo’s face, pushing it this way and that to either win their battle or get Sun Woo off of him. He didn’t account for the way Sun Woo would shift on top of him as he tried to avoid his attacks, the movement making Ji Dwi choke on an unexpected groan at the sensation. Sun Woo didn’t seem to notice, too focused on winning, and Ji Dwi was almost grateful when Sun Woo pulled back. The relief of no longer having Sun Woo’s warm weigh ton him was short lived, though, when he saw that he’d only withdrawn so he could grab Ji Dwi’s wrists in his hands and pin them down onto the bench beneath them both where his hands had rested previously.

Ji Dwi felt his breath hitch, his cheeks warm, his blood pumping through his veins as Sun Woo’s fingers held tightly around his wrists. He was slowly but surely getting out of his depth here, parts of him taking more of an interest in the situation than he would have liked. They were so close, Ji Dwi could feel the soft puff of Sun Woo’s breath on his lips. He was certain Sun Woo must have been able to feel the rabbiting of his heart where his fingers circled around the pulse points on his wrists, but the man hovering above him gave nothing away. He feared that if this went on for much longer, he’d feel something much harder to explain than a high heartrate.

“Do you admit defeat?” Sun Woo asked and Ji Dwi tried to tell himself that there was no breathy lilt to the voice beyond his cockiness at having won their tumble.

“Never,” Ji Dwi said, tugging at his wrists to try and free himself.

“Ah, what to do?” Sun Woo pondered, clearly toying with Ji Dwi now that he had him in this position. It was too much – Sun Woo’s attitude, his smirk, the feel of his weight between his spread legs and along his body, his strength pinning him down.

Ji Dwi struggled against Sun Woo again, desperate to get out of this as he felt his insides getting more and more interested in the situation that was unfolding. Sun Woo was unrelenting, smirking at Ji Dwi’s helplessness and it made him desperate and frustrated in more ways than one.

“Sun Woo-yah,” he snapped impatiently, shifting his body to try and dislodge Sun Woo on top of him. What he did was much worse, though. His hips lifted in an attempt to throw Sun Woo off but instead brushed against him in the most unexpectedly delicious way, their crotches rubbing together. Ji Dwi let out an aborted noise, halting a second after the pleasant feeling washed over him, his eyes widening as Sun Woo stared down at him with an equally startled expression. He hadn’t realised that their tumbling had been affecting him quite that much, though it could also have something to do with the fact that Sun Woo was laying between his legs, a welcome heavy weight over his crotch and abdomen. Either way, Ji Dwi’s erection was undeniable after having just rubbed it against Sun Woo’s crotch.

Sun Woo’s lips parted, slowly, as if he was thinking of something to say. Their breathing sounded so loud in the quiet after their laughter and Ji Dwi wondered if Sun Woo could hear how hard his heart was beating, if he could feel it thrumming through his veins. Ji Dwi licked his lips without thought, noted the way Sun Woo’s eyes followed the movement.

“Do you think hearts can beat fast between two men?” Ji Dwi asked quietly, distracted by Sun Woo’s focus. He hadn’t even realised the words had left his lips until he saw Sun Woo’s eyes flick up to meet his again. The connection jolted Ji Dwi. It must have felt the same for Sun Woo because he tore his eyes away immediately.

“I don’t know,” Sun Woo almost whispered before he quickly withdrew, sitting up again and distancing himself from Ji Dwi as quickly as he can. The air was awkward and Ji Dwi felt oddly abandoned, a tension from words unspoken that Ji Dwi wants to address or break but he knows he can’t. He has no right to be selfish and ask for anything more from Sun Woo. There’s a limit to even his shamelessness.

Instead he did the next best thing he could think of, sitting up as well and swinging his legs back under the table as if nothing had happened at all.

“Ah, I knew that would make you get off me,” he said, fake bravado as he straightened up on the bench. “That means I win, right?”

Sun Woo made a dismissive noise, rolling his eyes and looking away. Ji Dwi retaliated by snatching Sun Woo’s work from earlier, looking over his attempts at writing. Admittedly, he was getting better. Ji Dwi could definitely see progress – if not in a decrease of the amount of words he was getting wrong then in the actual precision of the ones he was getting right.

“This is wrong,” he said anyway, trying to re-establish what they had going before, pointing at one of the characters on the sheet.

Sun Woo hesitated for a moment but eventually he leaned close so he could peek over Ji Dwi’s arm to see what he was talking about. “Seriously?” he whined.

Ji Dwi nodded, pointing to another character. “This one too. And this one.”

“Ah, I’m never going to get this. I’m terrible at it.” Sun Woo griped.

Ji Dwi smirked, turning to Sun Woo. “You’re right, you are terrible.”

Sun Woo’s brows lifted, playfully outraged. “Yah! It’s not my fault! You’re supposed to be helping me but all you’re doing is making things worse.”

“Fine,” Ji Dwi says, shoving the paper back in front of Sun Woo before pointing at what he’d been writing before Sun Woo interrupted earlier. “Write this.”

Sun Woo looked at it doubtfully, before scowling at Ji Dwi. “You want me to just copy it?”

Ji Dwi nodded, pushing a brush in Sun Woo’s direction. Sun Woo took it and set to work, tongue poking out between his lips again as he focused carefully. Ji Dwi couldn’t help but watch once more, this time transfixed by the strength in Sun Woo’s hands after having just felt them wrapped around his wrists. It was all he could think about and his blood still pumped too fast throughout his body. Sun Woo’s hand hesitated, hovering over the page as he considered how to start the next character. He looked up uncertainly and glanced at Ji Dwi, whose eyes snapped to his immediately.

“Here,” Ji Dwi said, leaning across to point at the first line of the character. “Start with this.”

With tentative movements, Sun Woo slowly followed the first stroke of the character and paused again before looking to Ji Dwi for guidance again. Ji Dwi tried not to smile at how cute he looked when he looked at him for answers.

Ji Dwi braced a hand down on the seat so he could lean over more and point to the next line of the character. It wasn’t until he’d touched his fingers to Sun Woo’s wrist, gently pushing his hand into the right place for him to draw the next stroke of the character, that he realised the hand he’d put down to steady himself wasn’t resting on the wooden seat, but rather on Sun Woo’s thigh. Sun Woo had gone rigid beneath his touch. Ji Dwi hadn’t meant to do it but now that he had, he found he didn’t regret it. It was an innocent gift to himself. A way to relieve the pressure that had been bubbling within him for much longer than this night alone.

When Sun Woo tried to subtly shift his leg out from under him, Ji Dwi merely moved with him, pretending there was nothing wrong with the way he was touching him in that moment, fingertips falling softly on the inside of Sun Woo’s upper thigh. Their night together had been so bizarre already, so full of close calls and cheeky words that bordered on too much, and being able to touch Sun Woo in this way made him feel dizzy.

“Uh – I don’t –“ Sun Woo stammered and Ji Dwi looked up at him from where he leaned across his front. They were so close yet again, Sun Woo blinking down at him. There was something in his eyes, a sense of strain that hadn’t been there before, and it caught on Ji Dwi’s imagination. He’d always been one to push the barriers and Sun Woo had never been an exception before. Ji Dwi wasn’t about to make him an exception now, either.

“Everything okay?” he asked, voice decidedly devious. He moved his hand away from Sun Woo’s wrist while the other gripped at his thigh a little more. Sun Woo’s brush tumbled from his grasp onto the table.

Sun Woo blinked down at it before looking to Ji Dwi, swallowing thickly. 

Ji Dwi chuckled, unable to stop himself. Something about rendering Sun Woo incompetent made Ji Dwi’s insides thrum with even more excitement. “I guess you need more help,” he said, pushing Sun Woo’s brush back into his hand before he got up from his seat, moving to stand behind Sun Woo.

Leaning in close, he draped over Sun Woo’s back, his right arm moving down to lay atop Sun Woo’s right as his left arm wound its way under Sun Woo’s. Ji Dwi’s right hand followed the curves of Sun Woo’s as it rested over it, his left hand gently shifting Sun Woo’s grip. They were so close now, back to chest, and Ji Dwi couldn’t help but smile, his heart beating like crazy again.

His chin rested on Sun Woo’s shoulder and it was only then that he registered the stiff way Sun Woo was sitting, uncomfortable and upright like he was trying too hard. “Everything alright?” he asked, momentarily distracted by the way Sun Woo’s hair shifted from his breath as he spoke, flittering against Sun Woo’s neck before settling again.

“Fine,” Sun Woo answered, almost too quickly.

Ji Dwi had been worried before but he knew Sun Woo well enough now to know that he didn’t just sit by and take it if things happened that he didn’t like. He may have been awkward beneath his touch, but he was certainly still there. And while he was still there, Ji Dwi was going to play. He smirked. “Don’t forget you asked for this. You said I wasn’t helping.”

He heard Sun Woo huff out a shaky breath and tried not to smile too big. His fingers gently caressed over Sun Woo’s, carefully uncurling Sun Woo’s fist so he could guide him to hold the brush correctly. Ji Dwi let his right hand spread over the top of Sun Woo’s hand, their fingers pressed together as Ji Dwi’s hand echoed the shape he’d just guided Sun Woo’s into. While he touched him, he allowed himself to look. He saw the way Sun Woo’s eyes were trained down on their hands, their connection, and the way that tiny dip between his brows was back.

“Let me show you,” he murmured, so close, too close, to Sun Woo. His hair danced again in the wind from his gentle breath and Ji Dwi had to mentally steel himself so he wouldn’t blow at it more just to see what Sun Woo would do.

Beneath him Sun Woo was still but slowly becoming pliant, letting Ji Dwi lead. Ji Dwi felt an odd sense of satisfaction about having someone so big, strong and bold so quiet and malleable in his hands. He supposed that this was what power felt like. Despite his title, he had yet to know what power was beyond his mother’s ruthless examples of it. This was a power that he liked and craved a whole lot more than anything else he’d experienced.

He moved their hands toward the page, guiding Sun Woo into drawing a character he’d been struggling with. He held his hand, felt the muscles of Sun Woo’s arm shift against the underside of his own as he led the way through the dips and lines necessary for the string of words. Ji Dwi was focused on the task, determined to craft something beautiful that Sun Woo would be glad to have been taught.

“There,” he said when he was finished but he didn’t pull away. His eyes were focused on Sun Woo’s expression, the way his lips pursed as he tried to figure out the characters. “This is simpler than what I showed you before.”

“What does it say?” Sun Woo asked.

“’ _I really wish I could kiss you right now_ ’,” Ji Dwi said, voice dropping low without him even realising it. He was so close to Sun Woo that he could do it if he wanted to, and God how he wanted to. He was right by Sun Woo’s ear, wanted to lean in and kiss the skin there just to see what would happen, but he was too distracted by the slow flush rising there to do it.

“Why did you write that?” Sun Woo asked, voice uncertain.

Ji Dwi didn’t hesitate, focused in on Sun Woo’s jawline and the shadows it cast over his neck in the low light. “It just came out.”

Sun Woo fell silent again and Ji Dwi didn’t know if it was because he was impressed or disgusted. He risked a glance at Sun Woo’s face and saw neither. Sun Woo’s cheeks were pink, undeniably so, and Ji Dwi couldn’t stop his mind from jumping to the first logical conclusion. He took a chance. Ji Dwi’s left hand found its way to Sun Woo’s chest, flattening out. It took a few moments and some close attention but, eventually, he felt it.

“I thought you said you didn’t know if hearts could beat fast between two men?” he said quietly, mildly accusatory as Sun Woo’s pace quickened beneath his palm.

“I didn’t.”

“And now?”

Sun Woo turned slightly, tilting his head until he was looking up at Ji Dwi still draped over him. His eyes spoke volumes – of confusion, of conflict, of hidden desire. They were closer than ever like that and the air was thick with anticipation.

“What do you think now, Sun Woo?” he asked again and caught the way Sun Woo’s eyes dropped to Ji Dwi’s lips, following their every movement. Ji Dwi’s lips curved upward in the corners.

“I still don’t know,” Sun Woo said, turning away quickly.

Ji Dwi hummed thoughtfully before deciding that he’d been just about as patient as he’d learned how to be since the last time he tried to kiss someone without their permission. He leaned in further. At first, he just barely brushed the tip of his nose against Sun Woo’s jaw, his movements gentle, tentative. Sun Woo’s breath caught in his throat and the little noise of it was exactly the ego boost Ji Dwi needed.

“You don’t know?” he asked, lips brushing ever so slightly against the soft skin of Sun Woo’s neck as he spoke. Beneath him, Sun Woo shivered. Ji Dwi nosed around a little more, letting his lips trail over his skin every now and then.

“Stop,” Sun Woo said and his voice was strained, just short of being the usual commanding, serious tone it always was. Ji Dwi decided to push his luck even further. He pressed a gentle kiss to Sun Woo’s pulse point, relishing in the quiet gasp Sun Woo let out as a result.

“You still don’t know?” Ji Dwi quietly teased.

“Ji Dwi,” Sun Woo huffed, his voice higher than usual, and Ji Dwi was emboldened by it. He started to pepper fleeting kisses along his jaw, slow and careful, until he returned to Sun Woo’s pulse point to daringly lick over the skin there as he kissed the spot again. Sun Woo immediately froze beneath him. It was a split second before Sun Woo’s hands were on Ji Dwi’s, pushing him off and away. Ji Dwi stumbled backwards as Sun Woo rose from the table and stalked toward him. The shift was so fast that it left Ji Dwi feeling dizzy.

“Why?” Sun Woo demanded, shoving at Ji Dwi’s shoulders. His expression was unreadable and the last thing Ji Dwi wanted was yet another fight so he pushed back to create distance, trying to duck away and remove himself before Sun Woo could hit him but there’s no time.

“Why?” Sun Woo barked out, shoving him again until his back hit one of the broad support pillars in the room. Ji Dwi’s survival instincts kicked in and he tried to get out of the situation again, to no avail. Sun Woo caught him and knocked him back against the post again, one strong hand coming up to bracket around Ji Dwi’s throat, threatening but mostly just ensuring he couldn’t squirm away again. Ji Dwi winced but then Sun Woo spoke again.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, voice strained, almost desperate. The sound isn’t what Ji Dwi had expected at all. He’d expected anger and loathing. He’d expected viciousness.

Ji Dwi’s eyes trailed Sun Woo’s expression, his furrowed brow, his curious eyes. “Why?” he echoed dumbly, lost in the everchanging mood.

Sun Woo looked almost pained. “Why did you do that? Why are you doing this to me?” His voice was imploring and it dawned on Ji Dwi that Sun Woo wasn’t outraged, he just truly was confused, didn’t understand. Subtlety didn’t work with Sun Woo, Ji Dwi realised belatedly. For once in his life, he had to be bolder.

“Because I want to,” Ji Dwi admitted, voice quiet but sure. He owed Sun Woo this much honesty at the very least.

“Why?”

“I’ve told you before.” Ji Dwi said, trying not to bite back but he felt caged by all the questions, not to mention Sun Woo’s hand still pinning him to the wall by his neck.

“Tell me again,” Sun Woo breathed, shifting ever closer. The air was so fragile between them, their breaths mingling with how close they’d gotten without either of them seeming to have even realised it. 

“I like you,” Ji Dwi admitted through gritted teeth, feeling more vulnerable in that moment than any time someone had uncovered his true identity. Sun Woo’s features smoothed out, something like surprise making his lips part subconsciously. Ji Dwi’s eyes followed their movement before glancing up to meet Sun Woo’s gaze. He felt any simmering annoyance melt away, replaced by exasperated fondness. “I keep telling you and you don’t listen.”

“I’m not very good with words,” Sun Woo said, dazed.

Ji Dwi watched Sun Woo until he got distracted by his lips shaping the words. “Then maybe I’ll just have to show you,” he said, determined to take it as far as he could.

Ji Dwi took advantage of the way Sun Woo’s chin was tilted down because of their proximity and difference in height, leaning up to press their lips together with ease. Sun Woo’s hand loosened around Ji Dwi’s neck almost instantly at the simple touch, his fingers almost tickling as they gently traced down the skin, before he pulled away, startled. It wasn’t much in terms of a kiss, a peck at best, but Ji Dwi had a thrumming in his veins he’d never experienced before.

“What was that?” Sun Woo asked, puffing even though they hadn’t done anything intense. Ji Dwi smirked, thinking about Sun Woo being just as affected as him.

“Do you really have to ask?” Ji Dwi teased, levelling Sun Woo with a steady gaze. Sun Woo stared back, making no move to leave, lips twitching at the corners. “Can I do it again?”

Sun Woo didn’t say no so Ji Dwi smiled softly as he kissed him again. It was slow and not nearly enough – Ji Dwi wanted so much more, wanted to give Sun Woo so much more – but it was all so unfamiliar and Ji Dwi didn’t want to rush. Ji Dwi let out a quiet noise of relief, sighing into the kiss as he brought his hands up, one resting on Sun Woo’s shoulder while the other cupped around the back of his neck, dragging him into the kiss some more.

Ji Dwi pressed up and into the kiss, desperate in his attempts to get more. He nipped at Sun Woo’s lips, swallowing the bigger man’s whines and hungry for any others that would follow. There was so much he wanted to say to Sun Woo that he couldn’t, apologies and truths and vows for lifetimes of favours, and heh tried his best to convey them all through that one gesture. He let his hands come up to cradle Sun Woo’s cheeks, thumbs brushing over their soft firmness as he slipped his tongue into Sun Woo’s mouth. Just as the kiss was beginning to deepen further, Ji Dwi felt firm hands on his shoulders, pushing him aside as Sun Woo withdrew himself completely.

“Aish,” Sun Woo swore, thumping his first against the pillar Ji Dwi would just been shoved away from. He leaned on the fist against the pillar, letting his head hang down in shame. “Why did it have to be you?” Sun Woo groaned, mostly to himself, but Ji Dwi couldn’t help but flinch.

He gave him a minute and eventually Sun Woo lifted his head again, turning so his back could fall against the pillar as he let out a sigh of defeat. He looked wrecked but not at all in the way Ji Dwi wished he was.

“You still think I’m the King, don’t you?” Ji Dwi asked, resigned.

Sun Woo said nothing, merely met Ji Dwi’s gaze with one of his own that spoke volumes. It was less of a suspicion and more of an unsubstantiated truth these days.

“What can I do to prove to you that I’m not?” Ji Dwi slowly approached him.

Sun Woo watched on, shaking his head when Ji Dwi got too close. “Nothing,” he said, sharing the same air. Ji Dwi brushed some of Sun Woo’s hair out of his face, fascinated by the way Sun Woo’s eyes fell shut almost instantly, a shaky breath escaping at the simplest of touches.

Spurred on by his need to test people, Ji Dwi leaned in and started mouthing at Sun Woo’s neck again. He left soft, open mouthed kisses along the column of his throat, smirking against the skin when he heard Sun Woo let out a shaky breath. His hands found purchase on Sun Woo’s chest, slowly touching, pressing, exploring. He darted his tongue out between kisses, tracing the skin, before he tentatively started to nip and suck at random intervals. With each new addition, Sun Woo’s breathing became that tiny bit less composed.

“Do you think the King would do this?” Ji Dwi asked, voice lilting.

“I think-“ Sun Woo started before having to stop and clear his throat, caught unaware as Ji Dwi started trailing his hands over his torso, gently pulling at his clothes until they started to fall out of place. “I think that faceless King would do whatever he wanted if he knew no one was going to learn about it.”

Ji Dwi hummed, nipping at Sun Woo’s Adam’s apple, letting his lips brush over it as he spoke again. “And would you let him?” Ji Dwi pulled back at that, looking up to meet Sun Woo’s heavy gaze. “Would you let him do whatever he wanted and keep it a secret?”

Sun Woo stared down at him and Ji Dwi knew that he knew they weren’t talking in a theoretical sense anymore.

“Depends on what he did.” Sun Woo answered simply. Ji Dwi felt his heart leap at his answer, their eyes locked on one another. They both knew the truth, as unconfirmed as it may be, and yet there was still a part of Sun Woo that was willing to trust and follow him. It made Ji Dwi feel weak but indescribably powerful all at the same time.

Ji Dwi smiled, leaning back in to nose at Sun Woo’s collarbone as he pushed his clothes aside, exposing his chest to the night air.

“Do you think,” he started, running a hand over the firmness of Sun Woo’s stomach as he slowly inched his clothes off his shoulders with the other, alternating between nosing and pressing lazy kisses to the newly exposed skin. “Do you think the King would fall to his knees for you?”

“No,” Sun Woo answered, honestly and without hesitation, too distracted by Ji Dwi’s lips to have time to lie or consider things.

Ji Dwi looked up to see Sun Woo watching him again and held his gaze as he continued his ministrations, gently kissing down his chest as his hands started wandering lower too. His fingers ran a careful line across Sun Woo’s hips toward his belly button, sending a shiver through his body. Ji Dwi smiled against his skin, sucking a little as he pressed another open kiss against it. His hand wandered directly south after that, slowly trailing over Sun Woo’s clothed cock. Ji Dwi felt it stir in interest under the weight of his touch and he palmed it with a little more desperation than he would have liked. It was intoxicating, having this opportunity. He pressed a little harder against Sun Woo and he hissed, like he was trying to hide how much Ji Dwi’s touch was impacting on him.

He smiled something wicked before finally dropping to his knees.

Sun Woo’s eyes grew large. “Wha-“

Ji Dwi palmed him a little harder. “I’m on my knees for you,” he said, voice lilting as he leaned forward and let his lips brush against the skin of Sun Woo’s abdomen as he slowly lowered his pants, following the painfully slow movement of the fabric with his lips, “Wouldn’t that mean I’m not the King?”

Sun Woo made an aborted noise, just watched on like he was unable to put two words together.

Ji Dwi leaned back in, pressed painfully slow kisses to the top of the pants Sun Woo still wore, teasingly flicking his tongue across the skin as he went. Sun Woo’s eyes were blown and wide. It made Ji Dwi’s heart thrum with excitement, and he watched on with great interest as he tugged Sun Woo’s pants down firmly, letting them fall away to pool at his feet. Sun Woo hissed at the sudden exposure, pressing his lips together into a thin line as his eyes fell shut. Ji Dwi took full advantage of the opportunity to look without being caught, drinking in the sight of Sun Woo basically naked before him, completely at his mercy. He tried not to focus on the way Sun Woo’s hardening cock twitched with interest so close in front of him. He tentatively touched his hands onto the bare skin of Sun Woo’s firm thighs, instead, focusing his attention away from what he really wanted for the moment, biding his time. Ji Dwi was no stranger to waiting – he knew better than anyone that timing was everything.

Sun Woo flinched at the touch. “Cold,” he muttered absently, and Ji Dwi smirked, leaning in.

“Is it?”

Sun Woo’s eyes flew open at the feeling of Ji Dwi’s breath against the skin of his thighs, gaze skittering before settling on Ji Dwi’s.

“Should I warm you up?” he asked, teasing, eyes glinting. He traced his hands up Sun Woo’s thighs, gently at first, gauging Sun Woo’s reaction.

“You don’t have to do this,” Sun Woo said, voice shaky.

Ji Dwi looked up at him from his place on the floor between his legs. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you see me properly.”

Sun Woo just watched on, mouth ajar like he’d gone to say something only to have the words stolen out of his mouth. Ji Dwi meant every word he’d said, in every possible way he could mean them. He wanted Sun Woo to see him as a man, as a friend, as a warrior and as a King. He never wanted him to see him as that faceless King or as the murderer of his friend. He wanted to be a source of hope, of equity, of love. He wanted to redeem himself to Sun Woo, to earn his respect and his forgiveness. He wanted to show Sun Woo how desperate he was to earn his place in his life by doing something that he’d been dreaming about for far too long.

Ji Dwi squeezed Sun Woo’s thighs, testing the waters. Sun Woo’s breath caught beautifully in his throat so Ji Dwi moved further up his thighs, squeezing the flesh and digging his fingertips into the hard muscle beneath him. He let his thumbs dip toward Sun Woo’s inner thighs, ghosting up the softer skin and grinning as he saw goosebumps rise in his wake, the man shuddering above him.

“More?” he tested, shifting closer, letting his breath fan over Sun Woo’s hip.

“More,” Sun Woo echoed, voice quiet but just shy of a whine.

Ji Dwi chuckled, pressing his lips against Sun Woo’s hip and slowly licking a small circle against the skin. His hands dared to go higher, fingertips grazing along the feint ridge at the top of his thighs, teasingly going higher but never as high as the both of them wanted. Not yet, at least. Ji Dwi sucked lightly on the skin of Sun Woo’s hip, unable to stop the smile on his lips at Sun Woo’s gasp. He released the skin, grazing his teeth over it in the most gentle of bites before laving over it with his tongue.

Sun Woo’s hips bucked lightly, seeking relief, but there was nothing to be done about it. Ji Dwi pulled back, dragging his hands up to Sun Woo’s hips to push them back against the pillar.

“Stay still,” he said and for once Sun Woo did as he was told. Ji Dwi tried to ignore the way it made him feel to know that he had some amount of authority over Sun Woo in this situation. Instead, he focused on what he was about to do, something he’d never done before, had never wanted to do to someone before Sun Woo, but had received enough times to know how it worked. His mouth watered at the thought.

He slowly palmed at Sun Woo’s half-hard dick, working up a gentle rhythm that got the man above him sighing in pleasure before too long. Ji Dwi pulled his hand back to spit into his palm before rubbing his hand over Sun Woo again, the added slickness drawing sweeter sounds from Sun Woo’s bitten lips and encouraging Ji Dwi to do more, try more. He works Sun Woo up slowly, teasingly, coaxing him into full hardness while Sun Woo’s hands curl into fists at his sides.

It was a sight so inviting, to see Sun Woo so responsive under his touch, that eventually Ji Dwi leaned forward, parting his lips some to take the head of Sun Woo’s cock between them. He let it rest there between his lips, not quite in his mouth yet, and poked his tongue between his lips to give a tentative lick.

Sun Woo hissed out a breath so satisfying that Ji Dwi wanted even more. He leaned forward and took Sun Woo’s dick into his mouth, his tongue exploring curiously over his skin. Sun Woo went rigid at first but slowly relaxed as he let out a groan at the work of Ji Dwi’s tongue. The sound only served to make Ji Dwi more daring, desperate to evoke more sweet sounds out of Sun Woo. He dipped in more, taking more of Sun Woo’s length into his mouth. He licked around Sun Woo’s girth, exploring the veins and the soft skin with his tongue before he began to suck as he drew back.

Sun Woo’s moan was beyond heavenly, even as he hit his fist back against the pillar behind him. Ji Dwi relished in the reaction, repeating the motion, testing himself to go lower and to suck more as he pulled back. Sun Woo hit the wall again and Ji Dwi took his hands soon after, unfurling his fists and moving them to rest on his shoulders instead. He took Sun Woo’s cock in his hand again as he licked it from base to tip and Sun Woo’s fingers clenched against the skin of his shoulders in sheer desperation. 

Ji Dwi was drunk off the high of dragging such sinful reactions out of Sun Woo and swiped his tongue just under the head of his cock, testing his reaction. Sun Woo jolted forward unexpectedly, thrusting into Ji Dwi’s mouth in an unintentional attempt to chase the pleasure even further, almost choking him in the process. Ji Dwi pulled off, spluttering, and Sun Woo looked increasingly embarrassed.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” he said, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “I’m sorry – did I hurt you?”

Ji Dwi wiped at his lip and looked up at Sun Woo from where he was still kneeling before him.

“I can take whatever you throw at me,” Ji Dwi said, voice just on the edge of wrecked from the short work he’d done already. Sun Woo’s blinks were heavy and lusty as he stared down at him and Ji Dwi took that opportunity to swallow him down again without warning. Sun Woo’s answering groan was enough to assure Ji Dwi that he wasn’t the only one who wanted this anymore. Sun Woo lifted a hand to tangle in the soft strands of Ji Dwi’s hair, gentle and oddly grounding as it followed the rhythm of Ji Dwi’s mouth on his dick. The fingers of Sun Woo’s other hand dug tiny little crescent shapes into his shoulder through the fabric of his clothes as he squeezed and softened with each movement of Ji Dwi’s tongue. 

“I’m-“ Sun Woo sighed, voice high and desperate. “Ji Dwi.”

Ji Dwi hummed in acknowledgement, drawing out a noise so satisfyingly filthy out of Sun Woo’s mouth that Ji Dwi couldn’t help but rub a hand over his own erection in response. Ji Dwi synchronised the palming of his own cock with the movements of his mouth on Sun Woo’s cock and the desperate pants that were slowly increasing in frequency. The tension was building, Sun Woo was letting out aborted noises of pleasure often enough to encourage Ji Dwi to pick up the already brutal speed. Before Ji Dwi knew what was happening, Sun Woo’s thighs were tensing beneath his hands, his mouth falling slack on one final choked off sob as he came into Ji Dwi’s mouth without warning.

Ji Dwi stayed in place, slowing his movements until he was just gently massaging Sun Woo’s cock with his tongue through the orgasm. Sun Woo sighed as he stopped coming but Ji Dwi didn’t stop his ministrations, licking at him until Sun Woo’s sigh devolved into a whine of oversensitivity and his thighs quivered some more, loosening his grip on the back of Ji Dwi’s head. Slowly, Ji Dwi withdrew, careful to keep his mouth tilted upwards so as not to spill anything.

“I tried to warn you,” Sun Woo sighed out, breathless, but it was hard for Ji Dwi to take his words seriously when he was looking down at him with such awe in his eyes and pink all over his cheeks.

Ji Dwi shook his head, his swollen lips pressed together as he fished inside his clothes for one of his expensive silk handkerchiefs. It was purple, to match their Hwarang robes, and Ji Dwi carefully unfolded it before bringing it to his mouth. He spat Sun Woo’s come out onto the fabric, oddly transfixed by the contrast of the white on purple as he pulled it away. When he looked up again, Sun Woo’s eyes were glinting with something Ji Dwi couldn’t quite place.

Ji Dwi folded the handkerchief up and tried, but failed, to get up. Sun Woo’s strong hands gripped his shoulders, helping draw him up and stable him despite his wobbly legs. Ji Dwi was hazy, light headed and slightly bashful – he couldn’t bring himself to look at Sun Woo directly.

“You okay?” Sun Woo asked, ducking his head to catch Ji Dwi’s eyes. When that didn’t work he gently cupped his chin, tilting him until he was forced to meet his eyes. “Ji Dwi-yah.”

Ji Dwi felt pinned by his gaze and it sends him reeling. First he was pinned by his body on the bench, then by his hand against the pillar and now by his unwavering gaze. Before he’d been so sure he was calling the shots but suddenly it felt as if Sun Woo had always been the one with the power. Ji Dwi certainly wasn’t averse to the idea, especially if it meant he could do more for Sun Woo. Slowly, he nodded, letting a small smile crawl up over his lips.

“I’m fine,” he said, words coming slow and his voice significantly rougher than it had been moments before. “I’ve just – never done that before.”

Sun Woo’s expression softened, brushing Ji Dwi’s bangs out of his eyes. “Why did you do it, then?”

“Because the King can’t do what I just did,” he said earnestly and the tension in the room shifted again.

Sun Woo cupped Ji Dwi’s jaw, running his thumb over his bottom lip before he gently offered it to Ji Dwi to taste. Ji Dwi did, noting the taste of come that he must have let slip without realising it, before Sun Woo pulled him in for another kiss. It was filthy, the saltiness of Sun Woo’s come still prevalent in Ji Dwi’s mouth, but he couldn’t deny the moan that left his mouth at the thought of it, the taste of it, the desperation in the rough clashing of lips. Sun Woo must have loved it too because he drew him closer, pulling his body against him, and Ji Dwi hissed at the feeling of his clothed erection finding purchase against Sun Woo’s hip.

Ji Dwi tried to pull away but Sun Woo’s hands dropped from his shoulders down to his hips, strong and commanding as they hold him in place.

“Let me help,” Sun Woo said against Ji Dwi’s lips and it was all the convincing he needed.

Sun Woo attacked him with yet another heated kiss as his hands worked to push his pants down just enough to free his cock. Ji Dwi moaned at the feeling of the clothes brushing against him until he was finally free and rubbing against the bare skin of Sun Woo’s hip. It was overwhelming to say the least, the feeling of the pleasuring mixing with the knowledge that he was doing this with Sun Woo, the person to whom he owed so much. He tried to pull back but he couldn’t, couldn’t beat Sun Woo’s strength, especially when he started guiding their hips to keep rubbing his cock so perfectly. Ji Dwi choked on a sob, let his head fall against Sun Woo’s shoulder as he surrendered himself to Sun Woo’s strength, his hands, his hips, his touch.

He couldn’t help but think about how much suffering he had caused Sun Woo. His stomach coiled with the bitter memory and he tried to push it away but he couldn’t. The guilt had been eating him for so long, weighing so heavily over everything he had done ever since, and it tainted the pleasure of Sun Woo’s movements with the knowledge that he didn’t deserve it. Ji Dwi wanted to make it up to Sun Woo, he wanted to give him all the riches, power and status that he had so that Sun Woo would never have to suffer again. He just wanted to look after him, to keep making him feel good, and he only knew one way in that moment. 

He tilted his head until he could mouth at Sun Woo’s neck, his mood instantly lifting at the sweet sigh Sun Woo let out as a result. Ji Dwi whined at it, desperate to do more for Sun Woo and to earn the pleasure Sun Woo had been gifting him, getting hushed by the man as he continued to guide Ji Dwi’s cock against his hip with more and more frequency. Ji Dwi let himself drown in the feeling of Sun Woo pleasuring him, especially once his fingers circled around his length and stroked him between each rub against his hip. The building pressure was becoming unbearable, Ji Dwi’s selfishness winning over his need to make it up to Sun Woo, and he whined against Sun Woo’s neck, no longer able to do anything anymore but pant wetly against his skin.

It hit him then that there were tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, on Sun Woo’s clothes, and he couldn’t stop them from falling.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out, breathless, still rocking.

Sun Woo reached a hand up to Ji Dwi’s hair, tangled his fingers in the strands and kept his head buried in the crook of his neck. He hushed him again as Ji Dwi mumbled out a string of babbled apologies, slow tears still falling even as Sun Woo stroked his nape with his thumb. Sun Woo was so patient and so kind, guiding him through it to the best of his ability. Ji Dwi came with a gasp, Sun Woo’s hand tight around his cock and the tears fresh in his eyes, and it fell hot and sticky across his skin and Sun Woo’s hand and hip. Ji Dwi was transfixed when he rested his head on Sun Woo’s collarbone to look down at the mess they’d made. He reached tentative fingers to wipe at the come, smoothing it into Sun Woo’s skin a little before exhaustion started to set in.

If his legs had been shaky before, they were pure jelly once they were finished and he fell heavily against Sun Woo to stay upright. Sun Woo just wrapped a strong arm around his waist, holding him in place. His fingers still scratched against his scalp, soothing as he kept his head tucked away in his neck, and Ji Dwi couldn’t help but sniffle.

“Sorry,” he said again, quiet and unsure.

Sun Woo didn’t say anything for a long moment, merely kept playing with Ji Dwi’s hair as the mood of the room settled. The quiet night faded back into focus and Ji Dwi couldn’t remember when it felt like it all had disappeared in the first place.

“You always knew how to write, didn’t you?” Sun Woo asked eventually. It wasn’t accusatory, just true.

Ji Dwi breathed out a soft chuckle, mildly afraid to answer. “If I did?”

“There are easier ways to spend time with people, you know,” Sun Woo chastised, his hand stilling, “Honest ways.”

“You say that as if you would actually see me if I asked,” Ji Dwi said quietly, “We both know that’s not true.”

Sun Woo was silent for a moment. “Just ask next time. Don’t lie.”

Ji Dwi pulled back, shook his head. They both knew that he couldn’t do that, that it didn’t work that way. And with that one silent reminder, reality set back in, and they were back to being the faceless King and his sworn enemy. 

Sun Woo looked away with a resigned nod and eventually started to fix his clothes. Ji Dwi took it like a slap in the face but he knew it was nothing less than he deserved. The taste of Sun Woo in his mouth was more bitter than before as he righted his own clothes, a lasting memory of something he shouldn’t have done, wouldn’t be able to forget or ever do again. Sun Woo deliberately avoided his gaze and Ji Dwi hurried himself, desperate to leave before things got any more awkward.

Before Ji Dwi could escape out the door and into the night, though, he heard Sun Woo clear his throat gently. The soft sound stopped him in his tracks.

“I-“ Sun Woo hesitated, but Ji Dwi could hear his shaky breath and was desperate for something to cling to. “I know it’s beyond your control. I just need time.”

Ji Dwi looked back over his shoulder at Sun Woo. He looked nervous in the low light but Ji Dwi could see his pink cheeks, his sad eyes. Shy and hurt but at least he was honest. Ji Dwi yearned to be like that. He knew it wasn’t a promise to forgive, knew that maybe he’ll never be able to earn that, but Sun Woo was willing to give him a chance and trust in him. Despite all that he’d endured because of Ji Dwi, because of Ji Dwi’s family, he was trying to understand.

Ji Dwi nodded without turning around, leaving the room without another word and vowed silently to himself, as he crossed back across the Hwarang compound, to do whatever he could to earn Sun Woo’s forgiveness and deserve his trust. He would give him as much time as he needed. He would make it up to Sun Woo and he would deserve to have him in his life. He vowed to make it happen.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh, thanks for reading! This fic took a bit of work to get to a point that I was satisfied with it so I hope you all enjoy it! Two things:  
> 1) I vaguely recall seeing talks in this fandom of a group chat of some kind - did that ever eventuate?? Because I definitely want to get involved in something like that on twitter or a messaging app or something because I need an outlet for my feels when I don't have the time to write and you're all so great and I'd love to talk feels with y'all y'know??? So yeah, if that exists, or even if it doesn't, hit me up on my [writing tumblr](https://raekenhales.tumblr.com) and let's figure out how to communicate because I'd love to talk to you all more! 
> 
> 2) Speaking of communicating, I've got a few questions for you guys! You don't have to answer, of course, but I'm just curious and this may help me make some decisions about what ideas to pursue writing next! So if you don't mind telling me, lemme know your thoughts on the following questions! What kind of Hwarang fics would you guys like to see? More canon based fics (both canon compliant and divergent) or more modern/AU's? Would you like to see more of a specific ship? Do you guys prefer fics that focus on one ship or develop several at a time? Do you guys have any crack ships (that is, ships that haven't been written about yet/ot3s etc.) that you'd like to see? Do you prefer completed or chaptered fics? What rating of fic do you guys prefer? Long or short fics? Basically, tell me anything you want to about what you like, don't like and even what you would like to see more and less of from Hwarang fics in the future! This will not only help guide my decision making as a writer, but it might also help the other Hwarang fic writers out there too. So if you feel like sharing, by all means, go ahead! :)
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for reading!! Any and all feedback is welcome, whether about the story or the questions or anything else you might want to say. :)


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